The Fake Male Orgasm

Ladies, you may not know this but the fake male orgasm exists. I know that’s blowing some of y’all’s minds right now because we’re so wrapped up in faking our own orgasms it doesn’t occur to us that men fake them too.

For obvious reasons faking a male orgasm feels like it’d be a lot harder to accomplish because it’s hard to make fake jizz shoot out of your body. But it does happen. I asked some men if they had ever faked nuts and there were a surprising amount of men who said yes. This is what I gleaned from them.

One guy recognized the downfalls of faking it with a regular partner, “I usually only faked an orgasm if I was with someone that was in no way relationship material or someone I planned on fucking again”. The main reasons cited for faking nuts is not being into the sex or the girl. Another big reason cited was drugs, ranging from antidepressants to heroin.  It seems that in the same way women fake it to end a session that they know isn’t gonna end in the big finish, men do it too.

In terms of methods, the easiest way to conceal the non-evidence is to wear a condom, pretend to cum with noises, spasms, thrusting, and then pull out and quickly throw the condom in the trash can. When going raw the challenge is greater. One guy told me he drooled on a girls back to fake the orgasm, another told me he pretended to creampie the girl.

All this talk about fake male orgasms made me wonder if a guy had ever pulled it on me. And I’m pretty sure it happened to me once. I was going through a nymphomaniac stage, equating sex with love and therefore constantly demanding sex from my then boyfriend whether he wanted it or not. I recall one night we had already had sex several times during the day but I was demanding more, so he begrudgingly indulged me with a semi hard dick but during the “big finish” instead of pulling out as usual he pushed deeper in and let out a moan. What a shitty faker, at least I had the decency to fake it realistically for him. Fuck him he ain’t shit now anyways.

The fake male orgasm also exists rampantly in porn. I recall reading somewhere that Cetaphil face wash is sometimes used as a substitute for fake jizz in porn money shots. Imagine being the production assistant whose job it is to get the fake jizz color and consistency down? I would argue it’s like being the production assistant whose job it is to get the fake blood to look realistic in a gore film. Anyway, in addition to helping out pornstars who can’t cum on time, there is a subset of porn that features fake dicks squirting ludicrously large fake loads onto girls.